It is very painful and scary. As the war destroys relationships

Video of the day many colleagues have already raised this topic in their blogs, and I also have my own view on the problem that I want to share. Something will seem controversial, something for awareness and recognition will cause pain. But we cannot but talk about betrayal now. Because during the war, betrayal is not just a disgusting and disgusting, but also a murderous pain and scary. In the period of difficult life trials, betrayal deprives us of basic trust in the world.

The unconditional trust we acquire as a child and what we are worrying about life, trying to determine those who cover their backs in the most difficult situations of life. At a time when the level of anxiety and fear and so very high, to make a painful loved one is almost like killing it. Yes, betrayal kills.

Trying to explain this phenomenon, I realize that the reason may be the lack of communication, where men have a desire not to speak about their fears and anxieties, not to reflect their images, and to beat it immediately. Men do not find out the relationship because "finding out relationships" is something like complex meaningless conversations about the feelings they allegedly do not like.

Although I personally think that to find out and more accurately clarify the relationship is sometimes very necessary. To at least remind ourselves that there are people who are valuable to us and how valuable we are. And this should happen not only in the family, but also in friendly relationships and in business partnership.

We have to say: I appreciate your friendship, I appreciate your contribution to the development of our business, appreciate the partnership and the ability to reflect with you. I appreciate who is next to you, I appreciate what you do and feel. But it is difficult for men. Especially when life requires them to be heroes, and they, well, were not ready to be at all. And they are embarrassed because they cannot meet expectations, fear and despair, uncertainty and helplessness.

Even true characters nail their feelings. Trying to understand the motives of men, I assume that sexual dissatisfaction can push a man to a quick and specific relationship, but I do not assume that a woman is responsible for this. I cannot accept the fact that it is possible to blame a woman of leaving a house and a man, saving herself and children, depriving a poor man of guaranteed sex and borscht.

What is the relationship in which a woman is considered a traitor only because she left the country, escaping from war? And when the danger has passed, she can make claims, they say, she could in vain, she could suffer and nothing wrong? This is very reminiscent of communication with one judge, whom I argued that the fear of possible violence and psychological violence is the same violence, and is as acute as real physical.

It turns out that if you were not killed and the enemy did not reach you, then in vain did you break from the place at all? Did they have to sit and wait until it hit? The logic is amazing, especially when it expresses postfactum, when it is difficult to evaluate the degree of probable danger, but it is very easy to feel like a hero only after the presence in the danger zone.

And all adult men proclaim all this, although the images put up some children: she left me! How could she?! I also assume that a huge number of families break up because they had to break up, but there was no reason to end these tedious relationships. And the war was a significant reason and made it possible to "disappear" from the field of view of a home rapist and to legally take children from him. I know many such stories.

I assume that women, having a little examined by "foreign brides" and comparing them with those who were brought up by us, were surprised, admired and decided to try. From this we will definitely have to come up with a disappointing conclusion that it is worth changing something in the education of our boys. I also assume that the fear of losing loved ones during the war is so acute that some are ready to lose now so that it does not wait for it to really . . . go the advance.

That is, to do psychological suicide and snatch the most expensive from the heart so that it is not so painful. But it will hurt, do not lead! And let's say that the new couples that arise now against the background of betrayal are likely to break up because they are built on a common injury, at the fear they survived together, but suddenly accepted for love. The injuries coincided complementary, that is, complementing each other.

Therefore, suppose that when the conditions of coincidence of injury (war) will disappear (peace), to prepare a peaceful omelette in a common peace kitchen will become very boring and uninteresting. There will be no expected drive from which this relationship began. And the feelings will just disappear. So is it worth it? Losing loved ones because of betrayal, we lose more than love, we lose confidence that is often not recoverable.