War as litmus paper. How will the relationship affect the forced separation

And what's going on? Turning himself out of a daily routine, a normal life "like everyone", many see a distance and realize what their relationships were in fact and developed, families were created and developed. In pairs where there was love, emotional closeness and understanding, separation only emphasizes it. A man and a woman have a relationship at a distance, talk about feelings, share a secret, feeling even sharper how expensive you are.

In pairs where they have long lived on the habit or because "the family should be and everything", there are problems that partners may not even be aware (I do not understand why I do not miss him and we have nothing to talk about). Or a woman (or both partners) sigh with relief and even through a huge guilt and a shame recognize that they are now better - they breathe more freely, feel more confident, and some thirst for life wakes up and as if wings grow up.

"As if from a prison, it has fled," one of my client said. I am not talking about the category of families where people lived with serious problems - abuse, addiction, abjus, or severe divorce. These women were given a "legal" chance for a new life, avoiding huge problems with the settlement of this peacefully. I do not claim that all women will become happy abroad and find their true love. The scheme is not so straightforward, after euphoria and fascinating reality can be quite strict.

Every woman now becomes more honest with herself and feels what is really happening in her life. Without social norms and rules, thoughts of relatives or society, fears "how I am with children" or "who I need". And many feel better - more free, happier, more joyful for these reasons. The war has swept all the inner latches and revealed us to access to powerful archaic forces within itself - fierce, the will to life, freedom and love.

For, having escaped from the usual circumstances, the woman realizes that she copes with what seemed incredibly scary and stopped (staying with one with a child), learns to be in helplessness that can be withstanding, asking and receiving help, not being dependent, be grateful , not guilty. And it becomes better, easier and even happier, despite everything that happens around. Yes, it is not customary to talk about. Many hide behind guilt, shame or silence what is happening to them.

But you can be honest with yourself and continue this useful process, so unexpectedly started with war. 1. Recognize that you are a strong woman who was able to save herself and her child from war. It was not easy, difficult, but you managed. Praise yourself and feel courage and strength. They were enough for this escape, they will have enough new life. 2.

Look honestly at your relationship and ask yourself: “How did I live? Why did I live that? By whose rules and decisions I lived? ” The task is not to find the guilty or the enemy, but to look openly at the relationship you were building. 3. Transfer the focus to yourself and ask, “Who am I? And how do I want to live on? ” Right now, rejecting all the guilt and shame, be aware, and better write down your answer.

Try to keep only yourself in focus - not a child, not a man, not a parent, not a norm of society. Now is the time of frankness. 4. Give yourself time to comprehend and digest everything, perhaps admit and live your feelings. Ideal if you do it with a psychologist. It is important not to make any life decisions and afford to go alone with yourself.

In peaceful times, people went to spiritual retrits to snatch yourself from the usual environment, and you have given this opportunity not at your own will. So use it to the maximum, knowing yourself. Maybe you never even knew yourself. ⠀ It is difficult to recognize the truth. She wants to escape from her experiences, anger and anger, anxiety, guilt and shame, or even a new relationship.