Basic rule. Are healthy relationships with Abuuse

"Keeping a light part" means to dive back to Abuz in an abyssic relationship is always appreciated and grateful for. But you can only get rid of the abyus with full separation. "Save the light part" means to dive back to Abuz. Therefore, derusification. Video Day Abjunctive relationship is a system. If they had only violence, they would not have a relationship. Abuzer captures another person and keeps with him very much due to the positive and illusion of positives.

"Only I will love you so much", "I grew and sprouted you," "Our relationships have passed fire and water and proved their value" and so on. But Abuzer himself is also a holistic system. It is impossible to "extract" good and remove the bad. Well, unless he will go to psychotherapy for years, not in comfortable sessions, but with tectonic landslides of the psyche. This usually does not happen.

Therefore, a person who suddenly realized himself in Abiuz has to take 100% responsibility for rebuilding his own borders. And here is the next nuance: most likely this person is weaker in pairs. It has borders, a number of needs are met only by Abuzer and there are no developed mechanisms for their self -satisfaction, torn contact with other people and there is no sufficient outside support, there is an emotional dependence on Abuzer and serious problems with self -esteem.

At such weak positions, the chances of staying in a relationship, but build your borders and make these relationships healthy are worthless. And we are not yet saying that Abuzer will resist changes and find all new methods of pressure. And he has these methods developed and effective - abyssum people who reach psychotherapy (although it is a unique event), effectively and often devastated and devalue and devalue therapist as well.

Therefore, the basic rule is to break everything first, then build your own stability, and then, if you really want to try to rebuild the relationship from fundamentally new positions. But why do it? Well, if abyusers are parents. Although the value is doubtful there. I formulate this for children how "don't talk to a witch.

" To communicate only with those people who are capable of constructive dialogue and after a conversation with whom you do not begin to do what you do not want, and you do not feel worthless, and even in everything wrong. If it is transferred to relations of Ukraine and Russia, then there is everything: depreciation, gas lining, isolation. If there was no war now, half of the people would continue to chew myths about "American capitalists".

Even now, many people believe in the worthless NATO and the bad America that is profiting in the war. That is, Ukraine as a system is still critical of Russia as a system. And here we need a break, reconstruction of your own power, integration into the world community and change of generations, and then some renewal of relationships. And then suddenly it turns out that Russia in world culture and economy - 1%. So much, it should occupy in all our external relationships.